PROOF THAT KFC IS SOLO-IST!
I ordered KFC for lunch today. (No no no, this is not one of those pathetic posts documenting what I ate for lunch...)
I wanted to order something to eat, since being alone at home means I am just too lazy to walk out to the food court, I thought of doing delivery instead. You know how it is, going out to eat alone. You just come across to people as sad, lonely and taking up too much space in a table for four. But when you share a table you're made to feel like a communial loser... cause you're eating alone, even if you're the first to arrive at the table!
Here goes the phone call to the KFC - Kentucky Fried Chicken hotline.
KFC: *ring* *ring* Hello, Please press one for Pizzahut... press two for KFC
KFC: Hello, KFC delivery... may I take your order, Sir?
Kenny: Yes, I'd like to order delivery... Is there a minimum order for KFC?
KFC: Yes, the minimum order is $12 and there will be an additional $2 delivery charge.
Kenny: What is the best option for a person who's eating alone?
KFC: How about a couple meal, Sir?
Kenny: Isn't that a lot? Four pieces of chicken and all that side dish, plus popcorn chicken? How about something with a Zinger burger, I don't mind topping up a Zinger set with more expensive items to make $12.
KFC: I'm sorry. Zinger is only available as ala carte.
Kenny: Ok, then I'll have a Zinger burger, two piece chicken and cheese fries.
KFC: Cheese fries cannot be delivered sir. They will become soggy.
Kenny: (well, I've had soggy ones even when I am at the restaurant, what's the difference?) Ok... ummm... How about a two piece set and a Zinger?
KFC: I'm sorry, Sir. The two piece set is for dine in only.
Kenny: Oh is it? (is my delivery coming from a special restaurant that only does delivery? or is the chicken different? or this restaurant has never packed a two-piece set in a take away box?)
KFC: So do you still want the couple set, Sir?
Kenny: Ok ok... fine just give me a couple set. But can I request for no breast meat please.
KFC: Ok, i will put in your request for breast meat but it is subject to restaurant availability.
Kenny: NO. I don't want breast meat!
KFC: Oh ok, sir. The total would be $14.95, including the $2 delivery charge and the delivery time is 45 minutes. Is that ok?
Kenny: Yea... sure (dejected tone).
KFC: Please down your delivery number... 754221
The four pieces chicken came as two wings, one lousy thigh and a huge breast meat. But that's beside the point. Ok, if I'm eating with my friend, we'd gladly eat something else instead. Heck, if I have company, I'll gladly go out and eat. DUH! Sometimes delivery is meant for single people too... why can't KFC be accomodating? All these strict do and don'ts are just putting me off. Why am I forced to have a couple's meal when I am just eating alone...
I am already paying an extra $2 delivery charge, why can't they just friggin' deliver what I want?! If you want to charge extra for the convenience then don't impose a minimum. Do you force me to buy $12 of chicken when I am at the restaurant? NO YOU DON'T. Do you say, oh no sorry sir... our coleslaw is only meant for delivery? NO YOU DON'T... so just give me my FUCKING ORDER, GOD DAMN IT.
KFC in Singapore sucks.