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America's Next Top Model (right!)



Really. Of all the good reality TV shows lately, America's Next Top Model is probably the one that requires the least IQ to win.

- The difference between winning or losing is based on silly tasks like little acting skits, dressing up pretty and role playing. Oh my god, that must be so hard. Like much harder than Amazing Race, where you have to solve puzzles and race around the world. Must be more difficult than Survivor or Project Runway too... Oh afterall, the skill required here is "the look". Softening your hands, knowing how to smile sexily/sultry/angry but not quite angry enough/laugh/fierce or whatever very difficult scenario you're thrown into and showing expression on the face (not all humans can do that, right?)

- The photos they are judged with are picked by the photographer or the producer. Making viewers question is that really the best photo the "models" have on a roll of film? While the photographer/producer choses the photo based on his preference... Janice Dickinson, Twiggy, Tyra, Miss Jay or whatever creature they put on the judging panel may not. Newsflash to contestants, if you don't win, maybe it's because the producer found you boring.

- These girls keep crying like their task is so difficult. In season 7, they were required to act out weird scenes picked by the judges... eg, hide gracefully... dance sexily... and etc. Some of these girls can't do it because it's too difficult. They cry in the end. Our favorite lazy contestant,Anchal, gives up in every task, like always. I feel so sorry for these girls...

- The show focuses a lot on the model house... on how they interact and be bitchy with each other. Each photoshoot takes about 2 minutes to shoot and the rest is just back stabbing, talking on the house phone, chilling in the jacuzzi... a day in the life of a model. I hope they didn't break a nail.... that would be tragedy (so is the thought of wasting my precious time sitting through another episode).

- The models hear advice from Tyra Banks about how to improve. Like "giving more emotion through the eyes. Showing their passion and their desire to win this compettion... To try harder. To let go of their fear and barriers when they do a 2 minute photo shoot," not tough, it's something they should be familiar with... "BEING FAKE". But Season 7's Anchal, A.J and Eugena (and most of the contestants who didn't win)... look the same in every photo shoot. Do they not eat enough calories to have their ears work? Let alone their brain?

- One of the survivors of the bottom two of every episode will surely cry on cue when Tyra tells her she's safe. She will nod agreeingly when Tyra gives them advice on what they did wrong. What follows is one of the best acts of the show... "the repentant look". Next week, the models become the same good-looking imbecile again. So why were they crying? Maybe it's a CoverGirl test for their waterproof mascara. Not tested on animals, but on wannabe models...

- The person who goes home says something about having no regrets... That they didn't try hard enough. They've learnt a lot from the show. bla bla bla.... yawn. Whatever.

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